Friday, February 26, 2010

How to Ensure Graduation: Only the "Smartest" Survive

When obtaining your PhD we all know classes must be taken, exams must be passed, etc. But the key to graduating is your advisor, so choose wisely. Yes the Professor who has innovative research is cool, but ask yourself how long does it take his/her students to graduate?, does he/she travel a lot?(if they do they can't be doing all of their research, so their postdocs and students must do a lot of it, and they aren't readily available for research help), oh and most importantly do they have funding? (while I encourage getting your own funding, this is a great back up plan). These questions should be asked upon initial decision of your advisor because you don't want to wake up as a 4th year graduate student with the realization that your advisor is not well vested in your graduation (ie Holy Crap, I'm 30 and still in grad school) or even worst your advisor is trying to keep you in school for his/her own benefits.

Here are some warning signs:

1. Your advisor will only meet with you to discuss new ideas, and not your dissertation research.
2. Your elder graduate students with the same advisor are in year 7.
3. You don't have contact with your advisor for a month and it is normal.

If you are experiencing any of these warnings don't fret, you can still graduate in 2 years at maximum by doing the following:

1. When your advisor asks you to work on new problems do it, but for every hour you spend on the new problem spend 2 on your dissertation research. Then when they meet with you to discuss the new work you have something to show but then you have more to show with your dissertation work.

2. Start Job searching, if you get a job that requires you to be done by a certain time usually your advisor will get on board, especially if it's with a good company or school because your success= your advisor's success especially if they aren't tenured.

3. Bother them by scheduling bi-monthly meetings, stalk them if you have to because graduating is of the utmost importance.

Remember graduate school is nothing but a academic hazing game so if you take everything and don't push back you will be in school forever so be "smart."

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Why Senior Ph.D. Students Are Ghost: McMullen's Theorem

"The rate at which one is ghost from the department is proportional to the rate at which one finishes." --K. McMullen

Have you ever wondered as a new graduate student why you never see the more senior Ph.D. students around the department?  The quote above, that I've dubbed "McMullen's Theorem," gives you a clue as to why, but this article will end your wondering.

  • They're chronologically old.  As you become chronologically old, moving around becomes more and more of a hassle.  Don't believe me?  Go to a party where the minimum age to enter is 18 years old.  Spend an hour there.  Then immediately go to another party where the average age range is 25 and up.  You will see a stark contrast in activity level.   

  • Most of the friends they came in with are gone.  Many students enter graduate programs with some idea of potentially pursuing a Ph.D.  The fact is that by the end of year 2, most take their Master degrees, big paychecks, fringe benefits, and run away from academia never looking back.  If you are in the minority that decided to stay for a Ph.D., year 3 for you will test your social skills.  Most of us who stay behind, however, don't even try.  Consequently, you end up with 3rd years that are vaguely familiar with 1st years.  And that's not it.  This "vagueness" increases with each new incoming class.        

  • Time savings.  Have you ever calculated the amount of time you spend commuting and getting ready to commute to and from campus?  That's time you could be working.  That's time you could be taking a chill pill.  That's time you could be eating.  Why forfeit those things for going to a campus you've been going to for years? 

  • No "good" reason to.  Some time in year 4, you sort of learn the "game."  By game, I mean the Ph.D. game at your university in your department with your advisor.  And it is also around this time, that you begin to decide that you will no longer play this game (e.g., showing face at meetings, volunteering for things). 

  • Less random distractions.  When you're secluded in your home working, nobody can bother you.  Yes, maybe your neighbor can bother you, but there are only so many neighbors.  And besides, they're probably responsible and have day jobs or classes they have to attend.  This makes home a viable option for many senior Ph.D. students.  For some people,  alternative places like coffee shops work best.  However, regardless of the alternative location, where ever it is, it tends to have the attribute of "being left the hell alone."  

  • Resents "still being a Ph.D. student" at some level.  When you look around and see your friends living "life" some part of you envies them.  You see them as not having a care in the world after they get off work, knowing that they don't have to think about work again until they're physically there the next day or week, you envy them. You envy the grown up money they're making.  When you've been in a Ph.D. program for some years, you tend to grow a strong feeling that says that you need to move on with your life.  But you can't move on until your dissertation's written.  So for the time being, you're "stuck." Resentment increases.

Hopefully this explains why you tend to not see your more senior Ph.D. students.  It's not because they're uber anti-social (okay, yeah, well sometimes that is it), it's because of all these reasons I've outlined above.