Why Senior Ph.D. Students Are Ghost: McMullen's Theorem

"The rate at which one is ghost from the department is proportional to the rate at which one finishes." --K. McMullen

Have you ever wondered as a new graduate student why you never see the more senior Ph.D. students around the department?  The quote above, that I've dubbed "McMullen's Theorem," gives you a clue as to why, but this article will end your wondering.

• They're chronologically old.  As you become chronologically old, moving around becomes more and more of a hassle.  Don't believe me?  Go to a party where the minimum age to enter is 18 years old.  Spend an hour there.  Then immediately go to another party where the average age range is 25 and up.  You will see a stark contrast in activity level.   

• Most of the friends they came in with are gone.  Many students enter graduate programs with some idea of potentially pursuing a Ph.D.  The fact is that by the end of year 2, most take their Master degrees, big paychecks, fringe benefits, and run away from academia never looking back.  If you are in the minority that decided to stay for a Ph.D., year 3 for you will test your social skills.  Most of us who stay behind, however, don't even try.  Consequently, you end up with 3rd years that are vaguely familiar with 1st years.  And that's not it.  This "vagueness" increases with each new incoming class.        

• Time savings.  Have you ever calculated the amount of time you spend commuting and getting ready to commute to and from campus?  That's time you could be working.  That's time you could be taking a chill pill.  That's time you could be eating.  Why forfeit those things for going to a campus you've been going to for years? 

• No "good" reason to.  Some time in year 4, you sort of learn the "game."  By game, I mean the Ph.D. game at your university in your department with your advisor.  And it is also around this time, that you begin to decide that you will no longer play this game (e.g., showing face at meetings, volunteering for things). 

• Less random distractions.  When you're secluded in your home working, nobody can bother you.  Yes, maybe your neighbor can bother you, but there are only so many neighbors.  And besides, they're probably responsible and have day jobs or classes they have to attend.  This makes home a viable option for many senior Ph.D. students.  For some people,  alternative places like coffee shops work best.  However, regardless of the alternative location, where ever it is, it tends to have the attribute of "being left the hell alone."  

• Resents "still being a Ph.D. student" at some level.  When you look around and see your friends living "life" some part of you envies them.  You see them as not having a care in the world after they get off work, knowing that they don't have to think about work again until they're physically there the next day or week, you envy them. You envy the grown up money they're making.  When you've been in a Ph.D. program for some years, you tend to grow a strong feeling that says that you need to move on with your life.  But you can't move on until your dissertation's written.  So for the time being, you're "stuck." Resentment increases.

Hopefully this explains why you tend to not see your more senior Ph.D. students.  It's not because they're uber anti-social (okay, yeah, well sometimes that is it), it's because of all these reasons I've outlined above.