Stand Up For Yourself

This sounds really cliché, but I think too few students stand up for themselves.  Students almost believe that they have to take nonsense from an advisor, because the advisor is paying her or controls when she graduates. If you’ve been disrespected by a professor, then you need to make it clear that you don’t take that kind of crap.  

You’re BOTH ADULTS.  

Your advisor shouldn’t treat you like his child. If your advisor can’t stand someone standing up for herself, then you might have the wrong advisor. If your advisor is looking for a child, then tell him to find a spouse and go create or adopt one.  It’s true that PhD students are often low on the totem pole, but it doesn’t make you a child either. I know for some, this advice may be hard to swallow, and I understand. 

I have two responses depending on circumstances.  Perspective one says that you’re afraid of future interactions being awkward with your advisor or you don’t know how he will react.  Look. There’s never a reason for your advisor to disrespect you when you’ve obeyed the Golden Rule and never disrespected him.  You have a right to correct your advisor in such a situation.  You have nothing to feel awkward about, because YOU were in the RIGHT.  You can be tactful in how you correct your advisor, but correct him you must, or be prepared to experience more disrespect throughout your PhD career.  And if you really had to choose, would rather you feel terrible the next X years, or potentially have to your advisor feel awkward for the next X years.  On the upside, he may want to graduate you faster!  Perspective two, you have a plan for redemption in the future.  If you’re being strategic about when you decide to stand up to your advisor, or in how you will stand up to him, know your strategy and implement it unfailingly.  Godspeed.